This timing insemination business is serious business.
I’ve been tracking my cycles using the fancy schmancy fertility monitor since January. Wifey thought it would be good to help us pinpoint my wacky ovulation. It’s supposed to “learn” your individual cycles the more that you use it. To be honest, I kind of feel like the opposite is happening. The first month that I used it, I got two peak days. One month I accidentally ran out of sticks, and the last two months have never shown a peak. There might be some user error going on (I’m slightly technologically behind, I just barely got a smart phone), but really this thing is driving me nuts.
Going into our first real live insemination cycle I knew I needed a back up plan. You wouldn’t go into the playoffs without a good backup point guard would ya? I am also terrible at deciphering the darkness of OPK’s. I decided to go with the fancy schmancy smiley face OPK’s, much to Jamie’s disappointment in their price tag. I have driven myself mad starting at the nondigital OPK’s, trying to determine if the line was dark enough or if today was was darker than the yesterday. I needed the definitive yes or no. So, the plan was to use the monitor in the morning, as instructed, and then use the OPK’s in the afternoon once the monitor starting reading high.
On Tuesday, I finally got a high and set off to work with a smiley. I tested that afternoon and it was a negative. Trying to sneak that gigantic thing to the bathroom and back in my skinny jeans, while grabbing the key to the bathroom hanging right in front of my boss’s window was tricky. Then, I had it sitting on my desk when my boss (I should come up with a clever name for her) came in to introduce me to her new girlfriend. That was anxiety provoking. I didn’t wear skinny jeans the next day.
Wednesday, the sprem arrived at Jamie’s workplace. They made a special exception so that we could have it shipped there. Her boss is super excited about our baby making plans. Her and Jamie spent quite a while creating some awesome timing charts.
Sometimes I feel like my body is ruled by OPKs. They tell me when I can go to the bathroom and how much I can drink. I have an extremely small bladder. I have also been drinking water like I have been lost in the desert for weeks to increase my cervical fluid. Not a good combination. I went to the bathroom in the late morning and knew I had to wait about 3-4 hours before I could pee again to do the OPK in the afternoon. I had to pee in 45 minutes. So. Very. Bad. I sat at my desk putting my hours of kegel practice to work and thinking about anything other that how bad I had to pee. I gave up at 1 hour and 15 minutes. It was negative. I should have just waited to do the OPK later, but I only brought one to work and had meetings the rest of the day. Later, during our staff meeting I started feeling mittelschmerz. In all my previous cycles, my temperature has gone up the day after ovulation pains. After the meeting I had to pee like a racehorse. (Where does this saying come from anyway? Why would a racehorse have to pee worse than dog that lives in an apartment?) I called Jamie in a panic, explaining my mittelchmerz (it just never gets old) and my urgent need to pee and asked if she thought I should hurry and go home and do another OPK or not. She said yes. I hoped on the bike and raced home faster than a racehorse (this makes much more sense yeah?) It was a smiley 🙂
Jamie pulled up with the sprem a few minutes later and we spent the next three hours deciding on our insemination plan. We decided to go with late that night since my temps have spiked the morning after ovulation pain and positive OPK’s before. We did the insemination. It was beautiful. I was a nervous wreak.
My temp didn’t spike, but has gone up slowly since Thursday morning. Wifey swears I’m pregnant. I’ve been nauseous, super sleepy, and having weird cramps, but I’ve also read that 3 DPO is waaaay to early to feel anything. Maybe it was too early, maybe it was perfect. We’ll find out fore sure in less than two weeks. Let the waiting begin.