Wedding Bells and Accountants

It’s been a week of great news and celebrations.

We decided to give it a go this cycle, as long as I ovulate before Jamie heads out of town for work. Grow eggies grow! Also the fertility center we aren’t really using said we could store the vial there if we don’t end up inseminating this cycle. Great news all around. Seriously, that was really nice of them. I should practice what I learned in grad school and send them a thank you card.

A lesbian couple we recently met and became friends with gave birth to their baby. She said giving birth was one of the easiest things she’s done. It’s amazing how different women experience labor and birth. I can only hope that I feel the same way about it.Their daughter is adorable and we are so excited to have some friends close to our age, with kids that will hopefully be close in age to ours. I imagine them being friends, having someone to talk to about having two moms, and just having an awesome time growing up together.

And then…finally the news we’d been waiting months to hear. Same sex couples can file joint tax returns, even if the state they live in doesn’t recognize their marriage. I’ll be honest, even though I am an eternal optimist I wasn’t expecting this to happen. Since DOMA was ruled unconstitutional, Jamie has said many times that she wants to get legally married somewhere. I, on the other hand thought we should wait and see what benefits, if any, we would get if we were legally married. We just bought a house, went on a vacation, and are trying to have a baby. I didn’t think we should pay for a wedding too if it didn’t financially make sense.

See, we already got married. We had a ceremony on the beach in California. It was after Prop 8 had passed so it wasn’t legal at the time, but we didn’t care. We just wanted to be married and to celebrate our decision to spend our lives together. It was beautiful and the best day of my life. I think part of me was resistant to the idea of another wedding initially because the first one was so special and I didn’t want a different wedding. I do want to be legally married to my wife though. So very much. So, I guess it’s time to start planning a wedding, a very small wedding in Seattle. Wifey says no courthouse wedding, so we’ll have to explore some other free options. A great friend from grad school is going to officiate. It’s going to be great and just as wonderful as the first wedding. My sister lives up there so I’m excited to see her and have her be our wedding planner, maid of honor and flower girl. A couple of other good friends also live in Seattle, so we won’t be short on love and celebration. A November wedding in Seattle might wpuld be pretty spectacular, or maybe December? October might be a strech, but also a super great birthday gift to ourselves. So many decisions.

Two important things to consider:

1. New vows or the same vows?

2. Fitting into my wedding dress. Time to hit the gym even more.

I guess it might be worth talking to an accountant to see if we would have to pay more or less taxes as a married couple first. I’ve always done my own taxes, but now that we own a house, are buying loads of sprem, and possibly married, I think we need the help of someone who actually understands our ridiculous tax policies and enjoys math. I’m just excited though and since we are both in the nonprofit sector and not making loads of cash, I would guess filing jointly will be better for us. For now I’m just excited that we are one step further to being recognized as married and as a family.

 

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3 thoughts on “Wedding Bells and Accountants

  1. meridith says:

    We’re in a similar place wondering whether filing jointing would benefit us and, if so, by how much. We also go married (on the beach, in North Carolina) and I don’t want to do it again until it’s legal in our state (where we could actually see benefits). But! Free money? 😉 Off to the accountant I go!

  2. Caitlin says:

    This is funny – we’re running off to Seattle to seal the deal in November as well. We are only having our best friends meet us there, and we’re going to the courthouse (King County is really pretty, but I understand not wanting the sterility of that scene). We are looking forward to 2014 taxes filing married jointly! Ha!

    • theartist says:

      Great news! Maybe we’ll see you at the courthouse. I still have no idea if it will benefit us financially or not to get married and file our taxes as a married couple but we have a couple of months to figure it out.

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