Monthly Archives: September 2013

Bee Sting or Rogue Dog Dentist?

I came home from work yesterday and Xena the warrior puppy was not acting like her normal self. Instead of greeting me with some sweet Xena flying jump flip moves, she ran into the backyard. She ran back in a minute later and I noticed that she looked like she had her wisdom teeth removed and she seemed like she was in a lot of pain, all she wanted was to be snuggled. While I wouldn’t put it past our neighbors to perform oral surgery on our dog, I immediately knew she had been stung by a bee or wasp. Xena is smart, but not street smart. She eats bugs…all kinds (except cockroaches). Flies, beetles, snails, slugs, mosquitoes, spiders, and yes bees. It was only a matter of time before she got stung. I’m quite surprised she made it this long.

Look at those poor cheeks

Look at those poor cheeks

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She looked like she was about to burst into tears all night

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Just needed some snuggles

Score: Xena-137 Bees-1

Not much has happened in gayby making world. It’s cycle day thirtyfreakingfour. I feel like a 6 year old waiting anxiously for my birthday party and the newest my little pony. I have never wanted my period to start this much, in fact I’ve never wished for it…ever. I was one of those girls who hated getting boobs. It didn’t help that my mom came to my best friends house (where I was playing) and said she needed to measure me because she’d noticed it was time for a training bra. What is a training bra anyways? What are you training for? A lifetime of underwire scars and bad posture? I cried the first day I got my period and didn’t tell anyone. I would only wear sports bras until I was 16. Becoming a woman was dreadful and mortifying for me. Now, here I am wishing and hoping for lovely aunt flo to get here so that we can get on with our baby making. My younger self would never believe it. Cycle day 1 should be Sunday, I hope this next cycle my egg decides to ovulate on time, these long cycles are patience trying.

We still may or may not end up using a known donor if this next try doesn’t work. If it doesn’t work this go round, we’ll continue the conversation and see how it goes.

We’ve been pretty busy doing non-baby related things. Hiking, house projects, canning, trampoline parks. So I guess I’ll just write about all the fun happenings as we continue to wait and wait and wait.

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False Start-disqualified

I made mention of it in the previous post, but this cycle is a bust. It’s hard not to blame my body and myself. I keep thinking of all the things I did wrong that caused this to happen. But somehow, for some reason, my body got ready to ovulate and then just didn’t. Then, a week later it did. Was it the flu? The stress of peeing on sticks all day and needing a smiley before Wifey headed out of town. The anxiety and stress that I feel each insemination? I am trying not to think about the financial aspect of a botched insemination, but it’s there too.

We’ve had a lot of conversations in the last week. Should we:

  • Start using ultrasound monitoring and triggers to make sure this doesn’t happen again?
  • Start trying IUI’s instead?
  • Keep trying at home and either pay up for keeping the tank longer or beg the bank to be nice to us because I have irregular cycles?
  • Reconsider known donor possibilities?
  • Pick a different bank that lets you keep the tank longer?

Sometimes it just feels overwhelming.

We had a conversation with a potential known donor. I don’t feel extremely optimistic about it right now, but it’s out there and the conversation will continue.

For now, we are going to keep trying with Socrates. I am going to see if the bank will let us keep the tank a little longer. My ovulation date has ranged from CD 16 to CD 24. The 24 is rare, only one other cycle and this one. Our bank only lets us keep the tank for 6 days-2 of those are shipping. Send out some happy thoughts and hopefully they will be compassionate towards us.

I enjoyed a delicious oatmeal stout last night, and a coffee today, and I get to ride roller coasters next weekend. It’s not all bad, but I’d rather be pregnant.

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F#*k Cancer

I decided it would be a good idea/challenge to only post about all things not related to making a gayby during the two week wait, or not two week wait (my body is uncooperative).

I think I wrote about it before a little bit, but my step-mom, K, has renal cell carcinoma, stage IV with all of the other markers. Two years ago, Jamie and I were on our way to my sisters wedding dinner rehearsal, when my dad called to tell us what was going on.  Jamie and I are, and were, very close to my dad and K. We left to go meet them at a coffee shop and talked before we all went back to the dinner together. My sister got married, we left to head back to Arkansas for school 2 days later,  and a few days later she had surgery to remove the tumor. It was beyond hard to leave her and them and our family.

The tumor was big, the size of a deflated football, but they thought they removed it all and it hadn’t spread anywhere outside the kidney. The plan was for her to go back for repeat scans every 6 months and we were all hopeful that after a few clean scans she’d be “cured”

Well, that didn’t happen. At her 12 month scan they found another tumor, on her adrenal gland. We had just graduated and moved back to Utah and were living in a trailer in their backyard (to save money for the awesome house we now own, that’s a post or 5). It was a hard 6 months. Looking back, I wish I had realized that something else was going on.

Then, this past spring they found and removed a tumor from her lung. My other sister came to visit from Seattle and we all went camping. K was sick the whole time with excruciating migraines. A few weeks later we found out she had not just one, but 12 brain tumors- 4 big ones and a bunch of smaller ones and  one on her ribs. Her insurance (yay U.S. healthcare) wouldn’t pay for the treatment that had the best outcomes so she started whole brain radiation. Then they found a tumor on her hip and radiated that as well.

We get sugarcoated and vague reports and updates, but I’ve spent enough hours with dr. google and reading dozens of research articles to know that the prognosis isn’t good. Cancer sucks.

We’ve tried to be as supportive as two stubborn, independent parents will let you: made dinner, cleaned the house, shared hugs and tears, listened, smiled, shared our baby making journey and so on. We always want to do more, to get rid of that helpless out of control feeling. So, a couple of weeks ago we did one of those mud runs to show our support. We signed up for the 5k Foam Fest, made awesomely cool t-shirts using the cancer treatment team she assembled in hypnotherapy as our inspiration. Her team is made up of flowers, dragonflies and a wolf pack.  What does this have to do with cancer you ask? Money raised from the run was donated to the Huntsman Cancer Institute, where she has been receiving treatment. Here is a photo of the shirt I made

shirtback?????????????????????????????????????????????!

The run was really fun. Her kids and some of our friends were all on a team, and our name was F#*c Cancer.  That’s really the only way to put it. There definitely could have been a little more foam throughout the race, I was a muddy mess. Now we just wait and hope that the cancer treatment team gets kicking into gear and kills all those cancer cells.

Here are some more pictures.

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A Perfect Union

Well, it looks like this cycle is going to work out after all.

Phew, such a relief.

I got a high on the monitor this morning which, according to previous cycles, means I should ovulate in the next 48 or so hours. And now comes the tricky fun of living for peeing on sticks. I have to drink enough water to produce copious amounts of cervical fluid while not drinking so much that my tiny pea sized bladder can’t hold enough for a positive OPK.

First world problems eh?

The swim team arrived at Jamie’s office today. Is it really nerdy that I’m excited to open it up when I get home and find out the count and day of donation. I have this fantasy that it will be on some special day for us and then wam bam it will be the lucky one. I’m not really a superstitious person at all so maybe it wouldn’t be lucky, but I think it would be pretty awesome if it was one of our many anniversaries or just a special day that we remember. We’ll see.

The last vial was 28 million I think, which from what I could find seems like a good number. Let’s hope this vial has a high count as well.

In non TTC news, the NFL season starts tonight and I’m really excited. I’m in two fantasy leagues and I have high hopes for domination. The Vikings were always my favorite team. My family moved to Minnesota and we lived right on the border of Wisconsin and Minnesota. It was imperative to choose sides, so I went with the Vikings and have cheered for them ever since. Utah doesn’t have an NFL team and the two teams people here usually like (Broncos and 49ers) I quite despise. After Adrian Peterson decided to go around on radio and television shows talking about how he doesn’t believe in gay marriage I had to cut the cord. Seriously folks, gay marriage isn’t something you believe in or don’t believe in. I don’t like cockroaches, or republicans or organized religion but I don’t go around saying I don’t believe in them. Someone would put on high dosages of antipsychotics and send me to the mental hospital if I did. Back to the point..I’m cheering for the Redskins now. I know I know they have a terrible name and they should really change it. I’ll send them a letter right away.

Keeps your fingers crossed for a smiley. 🙂

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