I made mention of it in the previous post, but this cycle is a bust. It’s hard not to blame my body and myself. I keep thinking of all the things I did wrong that caused this to happen. But somehow, for some reason, my body got ready to ovulate and then just didn’t. Then, a week later it did. Was it the flu? The stress of peeing on sticks all day and needing a smiley before Wifey headed out of town. The anxiety and stress that I feel each insemination? I am trying not to think about the financial aspect of a botched insemination, but it’s there too.
We’ve had a lot of conversations in the last week. Should we:
- Start using ultrasound monitoring and triggers to make sure this doesn’t happen again?
- Start trying IUI’s instead?
- Keep trying at home and either pay up for keeping the tank longer or beg the bank to be nice to us because I have irregular cycles?
- Reconsider known donor possibilities?
- Pick a different bank that lets you keep the tank longer?
Sometimes it just feels overwhelming.
We had a conversation with a potential known donor. I don’t feel extremely optimistic about it right now, but it’s out there and the conversation will continue.
For now, we are going to keep trying with Socrates. I am going to see if the bank will let us keep the tank a little longer. My ovulation date has ranged from CD 16 to CD 24. The 24 is rare, only one other cycle and this one. Our bank only lets us keep the tank for 6 days-2 of those are shipping. Send out some happy thoughts and hopefully they will be compassionate towards us.
I enjoyed a delicious oatmeal stout last night, and a coffee today, and I get to ride roller coasters next weekend. It’s not all bad, but I’d rather be pregnant.