Mastering Marriage

Marriage is great, at least mine is 😉 It can also be hard, frustrating, and heartbreaking. It hasn’t always been easy and it probably won’t always be easy. Without getting too sappy, I love my wife more than I ever thought I could and I love her more and differently every day. We often talk about not only how lucky we are that we found each other, but that we found each other when we were pretty young (but not so young that we screwed it up). A lot of people get divorced, gay, straight, young old, kids, no kids, rich, poor, yada yada. Divorce doesn’t discriminate.

Last week Wifey and I were talking about a recent separation and divorce and how sad the whole situation is. The typical the grass is greener on the other side story. I came up with some brilliant marriage advice that ought to be at least partially attributed to the abundance of rain we had recently received and how green our grass looked that day.

The grass might seem greener on the other side, and it might even be greener, a lot greener. The thing is that all grass goes through stages. Sometimes it gets dry and yellow, we forget to water it, it doesn’t rain, the dogs run all over it and rip it up, the chickens eat the seed we try to spread. But then, fall comes, it rains, it cools down a bit, and the lawn turns a lovely shade of green. Then BAM, the grass is green on this side again. It always eventually turns green again…every time, you just have to remember that dry patches happen and that the other side turns yellow too.

And there you have it, that is how to make sure your marriage last. As far as making sure your grass doesn’t die all the way before you remember to water it…you’re on your own. Don’t worry, you can thank me later. We also gladly take donations for saving all those marriages out there. It’s hard work, but someone has to do it.

Oh and guess what? It’s cycle day 2. The bank who shall remain nameless has no compassion and is going to charge us $30 per day if we keep the tank longer than 6 days. They might need a hug or something so that they aren’t so inclined to nickel and dime us poor spermless folk.

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