Once upon a time there was a positive pregnancy test

The first week of the two week wait went by surprisingly fast. After our BFF left I really only had to wait for about a week to test. I talked to Jamie too see where she was at with testing early. After our first try, I started testing really early and then caught the testing bug and couldn’t stop. It was really devastating for Jamie to see the negative tests everyday so I stopped telling her when I tested. But she knew I was taking them and that they were all negative. She said she didn’t care this time, which as the amazing wife that I am, knew was a lie.

I broke down and tested on Friday, which was 9 days past ovulation (DPO) with a cheapie internet test and it was negative. That night Jamie asked if I tested, I said yes,  then she asked if it was negative. I said that it was positive I definitely would have told her as soon as I took it. That would be so rude if I didn’t tell her about a positive right way. I didn’t test on Saturday, that night we went to a Thriller dance performance with Jamie’s little sis which was really fun, creepy but fun. Little sis and her boyfriend ended up staying the night so they didn’t have to drive 3 hours back home late at night.  They are cute little Mormon’s. We let them sleep in the same room, which was a big deal apparently. We put two beds in there and let them decide how snugly they wanted to be. One of the fun things about living in “Zion” is lots of young kids with raging hormones, trying to remain temple worthy and not have sex or snuggle too much, which leads to soaking and lots of 18 and 19 years old kids getting married, which is a post for another day).

Sunday would be 11 DPO and I knew I wanted to test, but we have a cozy little bungalow. I had already hidden all signs of baby making, fertility monitor, pregnancy tests, books. We weren’t sure how her family would respond to our adventures in gayby making and I didn’t want to wake them up with my testing shenanigans.

Sunday I woke up really early, thanks to tracking my temperature like a champ. I tried to go back to sleep but my bladder told me it was going to explode so I complied. Who wants to clean up after an exploded bladder? Not me. I sneakily, and as quietly as the second most clumsiest person in the world can, found a couple of tests a (store brand early test and another internet cheapie) . I did the potty dance for waaay too long while I was looking for and trying to open them in my half slumbered state, hoping not to wake the sleeping little Mormons in the next room. I didn’t stare at the test for 2 minutes this time like usual. I set a timer on my phone and started at the Indian Ocean off the coast of South Africa









Isn’t it beautiful?

The timer went off and I tried to quickly turn it off, it was an awful sound and I was sure that it woke up everyone up. I looked at the early test and said holy shit is that a line? No way I thought. I picked up it and sure enough I could see the faintest of faint lines. I ran/walked quietly back to our bedroom and turned on the light, but of course at that moment the bulb died, seriously. I hopped into bed.  Jamie is not a morning person. Okay, that’s a lie. Jamie has the least amount of morning person in her of anyone I have ever met. She was out like a rock.

Me: I want to show you something ( as I fumble around with my phone trying to find the flashlight)

Jamie: Okay show me (groggily with her eyes still closed)

Me: You have to wake up for me to show you silly

Jamie: What is it? (finally opens her eyes)

Me: I think there is a line, do you see a line?

Jamie: No…maybe a little. I need to see a darker line to believe it

So I got out the computer and searched for “faint positive pregnancy tests” I showed her and then she believed it. We hugged and cried and kissed. Jamie did silent dancing and fist pumping in the air, declaring herself the best inseminator in the world (it’s true).

Then I remembered that I left the other test in the bathroom and hurried and got it before the kids woke up. There aren’t really kids at 19, but they seem so young. It had a faint line as well. We continued our celebration in near silence and even though we didn’t get to sleep until about 2am we couldn’t go back to sleep.

We told my mom later that day and she was thrilled. I expected her to get all teary, she’s a big crier, but she didn’t. She said she knew that’s why we were coming over and cried about it earlier.  It felt weird rushing to tell people, but so many people knew that we were trying. I knew they would ask the next time they called and I can’t lie. I wanted to make sure we told people in person instead of over the phone so we told a couple friends and my mom and then called my sisters that night to tell them. I’ve taken a few more tests including this morning to make sure they are still positive and so far so positive.

Test 1 & 2, Sunday

Test 1 & 2, Sunday










Test 3, Monday

Test 3, Monday










Test 4, Tuesday

Test 4, Tuesday










Test 5, Thursday after I felt period like cramps I tested after work

Test 5, Thursday after I felt period like cramps I tested after work











Test 6, Friday

Test 6, Friday










I can probably stop testing I guess. Now my period is officially late and I’ve called a few midwives to schedule consultations so it’s all starting to feel kind of real. We also found out that our due date is really close to our anniversary, which is July 8th. So we inseminated on Jamie’s birthday, found out right before mine, and the little one might come on our anniversary. How cool is that?

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