Then we all fell down

I started this blog to document our journey of growing our little family and becoming parents for us, for our kids, and for anyone else that found it meaningful, funny, relatable, etc. As time has progressed however, it seems that this blog is becoming one about creating a life while another is lost.

We found out I was pregnant at about 7:00 am on Sunday the 28th. On Monday the 29th at 5:30 we found out that my stepmom was being admitted to the hospital to undergo spine surgery. They found a tumor on her spine, the front of her neck, and needed to operate as soon as possible to stabilize her spine so that should would not become paralyzed and to remove the tumor. I got the text from my dad right before I called my sister to tell her the good news. I also knew she didn’t get group texts, which meant I had to also share the bad news.

Jamie and I talked to her son, and our good friend, and asked whether he thought we should tell my dad and his mom about the pregnancy. They have both been really excited about us trying to get knocked up and they ask for updates whenever we see or talk to them. He said “good news is always good news”. We decided to feel it out at the hospital. She didn’t look good. Everyone was much more worried about this surgery than any of the others she’s had. When people were leaving they gave hugs and kisses instead of just saying “I love you” as they walked out of the room. I was scared too and wanted to tell her before surgery, just in case she didn’t make it I guess. I wanted her to know and wanted her to have some good news and something to look forward to. She was in a lot of pain so we decided to wait until her next round of pain medication. They were both really excited and happy.

She had surgery on Wednesday, they were supposed to do both the front and the back, but got behind schedule and only did the back the first day. Then, on Halloween (my birthday and favorite holiday) they did the second surgery. Anxious Yogi sent me home from work early and I straight to the hospital. We waited and waited and waited and finally she got out of surgery at 6:30 that night. Jamie and I waited with my dad and while we sat there watching the patient tracking chart, found out that they also found more tumors in her lower spine, brain, lung, liver, other kidney, and on and on and on. It’s every where. We also found out that back when they found the first brain tumors they gave her 4-6 months to live. That was almost 5 months ago.

Right now she’s still in the neuro critical care unit. She’s not getting enough oxygen. She also got ARDS about 15 years ago, so that certainly isn’t helping with the oxygen problem. To sum it up, it’s been a week of celebration and excited and also a week of coming to terms with reality. I knew when they found out the cancer had metastasized she had less than a 5% chance to live for five years. She’s one of the toughest people I know and I really hoped that if anyone could beat it, she could.  Part of me feels like I should accept that she isn’t going to make it. The other part of me wants to hold onto that sliver of hope, the next drug trial, the miracle. I want her to meet our baby and I want our baby to know its grandma.

Tagged , , ,

4 thoughts on “Then we all fell down

  1. Molly says:

    It is seriously heartwarming to see someone who clearly loves their stepmother so much. My stepmother is 100% pure evil. I really envy the connection you seem to have. I am so sorry for what you’re all going through. It’s so hard to lose the people we love–especially on the brink of something so wonderful. I hope her days are as comfortable as possible.

    • theartist says:

      Yeah it’s kind of a unique situation. I’ve known her almost my entire life. She’s an old family friend and her son and I have been close friends for about 20 years. So I guess she’s more than my stepmom but there doesn’t seem to be an appropriate word her what she is to me. I appreciate your warm words. Thanks

  2. Becca says:

    I am so sorry you are going through this. And unfortunately, I know what you are going through. We just got our bfp yesterday and my spouse’s mother is in a comatose state in the hospital and the chances aren’t good. Everything was fine and well two weeks ago, it’s scary how fast life can take a turn for the worst. I wish I could say something uplifting, but it’s heartbreaking. Just keep supporting each other. Life is so hard. Keeping your stepmom and family in my prayers.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Three Hearts Beating

Two lesbian mamas make some queer spawn...

The Other Mom of Four

A wife and mother to a teen, toddler and twins

Loved and Nourished

Stories of loving and nourishing my family


Join us as we embark upon our journey of reciprocal IVF!

Family Values Lesbian

God-fearing gay girl in love with a God-fearing gay girl

Keeping Up With The Joneses

We're lesbians making babies!


The next episode in our adventures together.


Two moms on a journey to baby.

Adventures Of A Little Captain

And The Parenting Journey Of Two Moms


This is the story of us: Two ladies, madly in love, and our journey to find the joy in life!

Two Lesbians' Journey Through Parenthood


Mexican/Norwegian lesbian couple TTC


Thoughts From The Other "Real" Mom

Little Rainbow Bugs

Lesbian mamas growing a family

Don't Worry, I Won't Be Like That

And other lies I tell myself during pregnancy

Rainbow Bug - Home Page

The often hilarious, sometimes serious, journey of two lesbians starting a family in the state that happens to be home to both the most Gaybies and the most Mormons

We Love You Chicklets

Our reciprocal IVF journey...

Lez B Vegan Moms

Adventures in Motherhood and Veganism

Hound Mamas

Two moms, two hounds, and a toddler

%d bloggers like this: