I can’t lie

I am a bad liar, like really bad. Which makes it hard not to tell the entire world that I’m pregnant. Quite a few people knew that we were trying, and we told them pretty quickly, before they could ask. Then there is  Anxious Yogi, my boss.

There have been a number of conversations that have taken place that have made me extremely worried about how she would react to me being pregnant.

1. I had only been working at the organization for a few months and was really sick. We had a huge report and application due so I stuck it out. We were both in my office and I ran to the bathroom a few times to vomit, then we’d resume work when I got back. After we submitted everything I laid down in our massage room while I waited for Jamie to come get me. It was a rough day. After one of my sprints to the bathroom I told her not to worry, that I wasn’t pregnant. She laughed and said “Good, because if you were I’d fire you…just kidding, but I better be the first one to know” I said Jamie would be first of course, but she’d be high on the list, #4 or 5.

2. This previously mentioned conversation

3. A couple months ago we hired a new employee. I knew the day she started she was pregnant. Okay well I assumed. I came home and told Jamie either she had an extremely strange body type or she was pregnant. Her gay male supervisor and co-worked had no idea, which I find pretty amusing. A few weeks later she told her supervisor and then he told our leadership team. Anxious Yogi had no idea what our maternity policy was so I reluctantly informed everyone, worried that they would ask why I had every detail memorized. I also informed everyone that pregnancy is included in our nondiscrimination policy, in case that was an issue. The conversation continued for a quite a while speculating about whether or not she’d really come back after the baby was born. At some point I said “Well don’t worry about me, I really need this job so when I get pregnant I will definitely come back”. Our Medical Director said, “Oh don’t worry, you can take 6 months off if you want, you’ve proved how valuable you are and we need you.” Phew. Still nervous though.

Last week as we were waiting for a meeting to start, Anxious Yogi asked how my stepmom was doing. (I’ve decided I should give her a blog name, we’ll call her Tough Cookie). She then asked if Tough Cookie had anything coming up to look forward to, like a “try to make it to” date, like a wedding or a birth. Because I’m a terrible liar, I just laughed a little. Anxious Yogi thought I was off my rocker.

So I blurted out: Well we’re pregnant

Anxious Yogi: Who’s pregnant?

Me: I am

Anxious Yogi: Oh my gosh, congrats, I’m so excited. (big big hug)

Me: (Trying to stop my heart from beating out of my chest) So yeah we’re due in about 9 months and we really hope Tough Cookie will make it to meet the baby.

Anxious Yogi: Starts asking a million questions about the donor, sperm banks, ob’s etc. 

I feel relieved that she knows, although I had planned it so much differently. I’d casually walk into her office and ask if she had a minute to chat. Then I’d say, Well I have some really good news, I’m pregnant, but don’t worry we timed it so that I won’t be gone during the busiest times of the year. She’d be disappointed, but understanding and glad that I told her early on and we’d carry on with our day. I’m glad it didn’t work out that way. I continue to be surprised with how excited she is. Other than telling me what a bad feminist I am for wanting a med free home birth, she’s been really cute actually. She gets giddy when she asks me about midwife interviews and asks how I’m feeling everyday. We haven’t talked about leave or working from home after the baby is here, but I am one lucky woman.



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