The Exploding Olfactory Receptor

Sometime last week I exploded, physically. I’ll save the emotional exploding for another blog. One day at work, while wearing my bigger pants mind you, I realized I was growing exponentially. Let me clarify that I don’t mean fat. Wifey and I are a product of our culture and thus are working very hard to eliminate this word from our vocabularies before Bubbles gets here. What I mean is that I was almost certain that my uterus was going to burst out of my belly button.

Wifey and I headed out after work to get some special clothes with space for my expanding abdomen, such a great invention eh? I really wanted to put of buying maternity clothes until it got a bit warmer out, but I do feel much better now. The exploding feeling has minimized as well. Now I just feel like I am constantly bloated and sticking my stomach out. It’s weird, the whole thing is weird.

BFF (who is also pregnant and needs a blog name) really didn’t want to get pregnant. She loves kids and is great with them, but the idea of being pregnant grossed her out. She thought it was weird. In her words “Being pregnant isn’t a miracle, now having a litter of puppies would be a miracle. If I could have a litter of puppies, I’d do that in a heartbeat”. I say all this to say that yes it is weird, amazing but weird. The first time we heard Bubbles’ heartbeat I was in shock that there is actually a human, a tiny human, growing inside of me and that in 6 months I will push it out. It’s crazy. Beautiful and wonderful and crazy.

Another great benefit of pregnancy is challenging your canine children to best sniffer competitions. Let me tell you a couple things that happened recently:

  • We had some auditors here at work last week, lovely people. They brought us coffee for our Keurig and little white fudge gingerbread men cookies. One, or both of them, also smelled terrible. Like a mix of terrible B.O., your grandma’s closet, and old food. I walked in after lunch and had to run/walk inconspicuously to my office while holding back the dry heaving. It was cute.
  • It doesn’t help that something in my office smells weird. I’ve looked for an old apple core or stow away hamster but I’ve got nothing. Time for a good candle.
  • I went to go to the bathroom at work after someone had too many jalapeno peppers the night before. I ran out dry heaving. Gross, yes…but true.
  • Bella, my step brothers pug, has the worst breath you have ever smelled on a dog. She wanted to do this to my face and I hated it and tried really hard not to throw up without her knowing I was trying not to throw up. pug




We’ve made it to the second trimester, 16 weeks to be exact. I really enjoy feeling Bubbles move around. It doesn’t happen often but if I give em a little push, I usually feel a tiny dance party. I baffles me how my uterus moves around. If I have a full bladder I look like I swallowed an alien, or a bowl.

I’ll leave you with this little gem that I really enjoyed this week. Everyone should have a taste of the oddities of living in this lovely state. I’m happy to answer questions, as apparently only Utahns will understand.



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One thought on “The Exploding Olfactory Receptor

  1. DeCaf says:

    During one part of my cycle I always avoid the restroom as much as possible as it smells too much. I don’t think I’m going to make a sane pregnant lady when the time comes, lol.

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