Chugging Along

I start blog posts in my head all the time. I just never actually start them on the computer and then they slowly disappear. Maybe if I start with short snippets, it will evolve into thoughtful, inspiring, and maybe interesting topics at some point in the near future.

Bubbles is still head down as of our appointment with Activist Genius on Monday. She showed Wifey and I how to feel the head, it was kind of crazy. They also said Bubbles has a tiny butt. It explains the weird and creepy hand movements I feel in my pelvis. Seriously it’s the weirdest feeling ever. Imagine a baby gently caressing the inside of your pelvis, yup creepy right? Bubbles had its hands up by its face and Activist Genius said it moved them away real fast when she felt the head. So baby is ready and in the ideal position for a vaginal birth. Now, if only my placenta would get it’s act into gear. Our next ultrasound is only 1 1/2 weeks away! Fingers crossed for good news

I started painting the mural in Bubbles’ room (pictures to come soon). I’m not too confident that I will finish it before our due date, but it’s worth trying right? My silly mom said that she would come hold the baby so I can finish it. Ummm, I think I’ll want to hold my own baby thanks. I don’t really care, and I’m sure Bubbles won’t care, if it’s not done. The baby won’t be sleeping in there for who know how long anyway. It could be  years.

Wifey and I are going to dinner and an art show with my dad and the woman he is dating on Friday. I have lots of feelings about this. We have met her a few times and she seems like a very nice person, not at all what I expected, but that makes for the third time (my mom, Tough Cookie, and her). My dad is a complex creature I suppose. I know what it is like to not be accepted by the friends and family of the person you are dating. It’s not fun. I can tell how uncomfortable she feels sometimes. I feel for her and understand what it’s like. I never want her to feel unwelcome by us at all and will certainly do my best to welcome her into our lives. It’s hard though, really hard.

The wake for Tough Cookie is a week from Saturday, again lots of feelings. We discussed our emotions and PTSD like symptoms about going to the hospital with Activist Genius on Monday. Tough Cookie had all of her surgeries at the same hospital where we will possibly be having our baby. Everytime we drive there for an ultrasound I freak out, cry, and such. The whole thing is so….uncomfortable for lack of a better word. The parking garage, the escalator, the cafeteria, the elevators. It all brings back memories of Tough Cookie, good ones, bad ones, and horrible ones. It was the last place I saw her, talked to her, laughed with her. She was gone after her last surgery. She lived for another 2+ months, but SHE was gone. Activist Genius invited us to come tour the hospital as part of their meet the midwives event (we did last night) and said she would get us in touch with a social worker who can help us figure out how to figure this all out.

 

  • We haven’t started our dining room table yet, or sod, or chicken coop, or garden…yikes
  • We are expecting some beyond exciting news today or tomorrow (details to come)
  • This country needs to figure out that families are important and raising children is important and thus maternity leave is important (this deserves it’s own post and I will put that on my post it note to do later)
  • Heartburn isn’t fun, I may never eat again
  • Not finding out the sex of your baby is not brave (also deserves it’s own post)
  • Why do our parents insist on knowing the sex of the baby before they can buy anything, it’s not like they knew with us (same own post issue here)
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2 thoughts on “Chugging Along

  1. How do you feel the head?

    I don’t know if I would be able to deliver in the same hospital my mother in law passed away in. We can definitely relate to everything your wrote. It’s been hard enough for my spouse to attend all the doctor’s appointments and go to the new hospital without having a strong PTSD reaction. She recently started going to therapy to work through her grief. It’s just so crazy to lose a parent when you first find out you are going to be a parent yourself.

    I’m always happy when you post, I feel like we are on this crazy ride together of being dealt a loss and new life simultaneously. So happy things are going so well with your pregnancy. Hope that placenta travels away from your cervix!

    • theartist says:

      I meant to respond to your comment and then got really busy. First, thanks for commenting. I also feel like we are on this crazy ride together and as awful as it is, it’s somewhat comforting to know that there is someone else out there that “gets it” and I can reach out to if I need someone to talk to.

      Feeling the head: Well she had me put my hands on my pelvis about 4 inches apart, just above my pubic bone and move them back and forth a little and I could feel the little head in there. I had to push pretty hard and first but now that the head is bigger it’s pretty easy to feel.

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