Que Sera, Sera

Whatever will be, will be

We had a follow up ultrasound last Friday to check on the placenta previa. I’ve been doing meditations and visualizations, taking iron supplements, talking to Bubbles, my uterus and placenta, and drinking loads of pregnancy tea. Did any of it help? Of course not.

My placenta is still covering the opening of my cervix by about 1 cm. It might have budged about 1/2 cm since our last ultrasound at 25 weeks, but that’s a generous estimate.

I blamed it on our birthday party at the trampoline park a few days after our BFP. I must  have jumped enough that the growing embryo slid down to its crappy position. I was only 40% serious. The ultrasound tech told the MFM, who made sure I knew it wasn’t my fault. I only wanted to cry about 10%.

I know that we are lucky to have gotten pregnant so quickly and are very lucky and privileged folk in many ways, but I can’t stop myself from asking why me? Why not that women who WANTS a c-section. Why oh why does the woman who so badly wanted a homebirth need to get placenta previa? As my mom told me all too often growing up, nothing in life is fair, which I should add I hated and is a phrase I won’t be saying to Bubbles.

At the last ultrasound the MFM said there was about a 50% chance that it would resolve. I didn’t even bother to ask this time. She said she wanted to give us one last ultrasound to make sure before the surgery. That is going to be on the 9th, a week from Monday.

The silver lining (if there is one) is that Activist Genius will definitely be there for the birth. We were worried she might move before our home birth, but she’ll be here at least until the end of June. So there is that. I’m glad she will be there and is advocating for us to have the best birth experience we can, even if it is a planned cesarean.

So, Bubbles is going to be born on or around June 19th (unless a miracle happens of course). I told Wifey that if we had to have a planned cesarean we might as well give Bubbles an awesome birthday, the solstice, then I realized that was a Saturday. Lame. Activist Genius is in Kenya until Monday, doing awesome activist, genius things. We are hoping to meet with her before the 9th to talk about birth plans and even possibly schedule the surgery. I just hope it turns out like this. The MFM questioned whether or not I’d really want to watch the actual birth, but the more I think about it and watch videos, the more I am convinced I want to.

Oh and I told my mom about the need for the c-section. It went a lot better than I imagined. If she’s googled things and is freaking out she hasn’t shared it with me thank goodness. And of course during the conversation she told me she was so excited to find out if it’s a girl or boy and that she bought her last “gender neutral” thing. Sigh, we haven’t had that convo yet.


4 thoughts on “Que Sera, Sera

  1. Molly says:

    Que sera sera is the freaking “all things fertility & pregnancy” anthem. I wish that darn placenta would get its act together for you guys. But you’re almost there! Just weeks… Crazy how time flies!

  2. DeCaf says:

    Planned c sections seem to have less risks than emergency ones so there’s that. Hopefully something great will happen and it’ll clear itself up in time. Otherwise at least you’ll know you are doing everything to insure a safe arrival for bubbles into the world

  3. Becca says:

    That’s so hard to shift from the dream of a natural home birth to the potential reality of a planned c-section. I guess the upside with it being planned is you have time to mentally and emotionally prepare yourself. I’m glad you have your midwife as an advocate and support. And who knows maybe that pesky placenta will move up a centimeter.

  4. ivfs42 says:

    All the best. A c-section not so bad, as long as they get here safe and sound and when they are finally in your arms you just don’t care. 🙂

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