Today is the second day I haven’t pumped at work in well over a year. I have a lot of feelings about this. Some good, some not so good. I think overall it’s a signifier that my baby isn’t a baby anymore. He is growing up…much too quickly.
When our new nanny started a couple of weeks ago, M (I need to think of a blog name for him) would not take a bottle from her. He was down to just 3-4 oz before each of his naps before the nanny switch. We had her try a regular cup with lunch and a straw cup and he just does not want milk unless it comes straight from the tap.
So, I gave it a few days to see if it was just a fluke. He wouldn’t take milk from J either when she stayed home with him. No reason to keep pumping then. First, I cut down to one pumping session a day. Then next week I did that one session later in the day.
Yesterday was my first day not pumping at all. I was super engorged when I got home and M wanted to nurse, but not for long. Poor kid has a cold, which makes nursing hard. I finally had to pump because it was getting painful. Boo, I hope today goes a little better.
For what it’s worth, I don’t think he will wean anytime soon. He still nurses all night long most nights and frequently during the day when I am home. He has a new habit which involves him sticking his hands in my shirt ALL the time. Seriously kid, they are attached, you don’t have to keep checking to make sure. Nursing a toddler is definitely different than a newborn, both with things to love and despise. One of his favorite places to nurse is in the bath. He gets so excited for bath time and tries to rip of his clothes and diaper and climb into the tub as fast as he can. And then he dive bombs for the milk.*
I remember when I thought it was weird to nurse a toddler, but now I can’t imagine anything different. I don’t ever want ever force him to wean. Right now I imagine he’ll self-wean between 2-3ish. The other day I was walking with J’s mom and mentioned that I could help breastfeed #2 if M is still nursing when we have #2. Her response was “I sure hope you aren’t” and told me a story about a kid who would come ask to nurse and was around 3 and how inappropriate it was. Sigh. I didn’t say anything, but I am really not looking forward to the judgements of nursing a toddler. I have a friend who has made similar comments. I wish someone could explain to me why other people get so emotional about how long another woman decides to breastfeed.
So here we are entering a new chapter. We now have a toddler who eats 3 meals and multiple snacks a day and doesn’t drink bottles of milk. He loves to drink water, wants to run faster than his toddler coordination will let him, is the sweetest thing ever, and as hard as it is to say goodbye to the pump (who would have thought) I am going to embrace my new freedom in wardrobe and time, and find something fun to do with him in those extra 10 minutes I have been spending won’t be spending every day getting pumping supplies and bottles of milk ready.
*We co-bathe, always have. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to give him a bath while not in the tub with him.