Tag Archives: insemination

Our baby is going to be a fiddler

A good friend came to visit last week and wanted to go to a concert on Wednesday night. I have a pretty intense love for music, many many kinds of music, but I’ve never been much of a folk/bluegrass/gospel fan. Guess what kind of concert it was? Crazy folk/bluegrass/gospel did I mention crazy?  We sucked it up and had a pretty good time and after the most intense fiddling  I have ever seen I am sure that our baby is going to be a fiddler. I’m not sure if fiddling is a thing, but since playing the drums is called drumming I figured it was fairly possible.

Fertility Friends says I am 6 DPO, but I’m going with 5 DPO. It was a whirlwind of a cycle, because why have a  nice normal cycle like everyone else? That’d be boring. We decided to have the bank overnight the swim team and then didn’t end up using inseminating until their originally scheduled date of arrival. Silly kids. Jamie described $50 as pennies in this process (we’re big ballers now) so we figured we could pay pennies to have peace of mind.

Then, she left half of our future baby at work and had to drive through horrendous traffic to go back and get the swim team. It’s a good thing we’ll have a while to get used to caring for someone else. We don’t want to be leaving our baby at work. yikes!

Then I ran out of OPK’s. Those fancy little pee sticks are a lot cheaper on the interweb, but I snuck away from work and paid lots of pennies for those too. I got a positive at about 1pm on Wednesday. Our friend arrived at about 3pm. He met me at my office and ate gingersnaps and pistachios with us to celebrate bosses day. Yes Anxious Yogi picked gingersnaps and pistachios for her favorite treat. I left work with him at about 4 and we headed to our place. Jamie and I had decided we should just tell our friend that we were going to be inseminating, but hadn’t really talked about what we’d say or how much detail to go into. Well, as soon as we sat down (Jamie was still at work) he asked me how getting pregnant was going. So I said “Well we aren’t pregnant yet, but we are going to try tonight” To which he replied “So how does that work?” So then of course I went to get the tank out of our bedroom and we had a nice little frozen sperm, cryobank lesson. Jamie got home during the lesson and was quite relieved that I had the pleasure of explaining our midnight shenanigans.

He was a great sport, not awkward at all. He decided that we have to get pregnant this cycle so that he can tell people “I’m not saying I’m the father, I’m just saying I was the only man in the house when the baby was conceived”.

So now we wait. I haven’t decided if I will test early or not. I have a bunch of cheap tests so I think I might as well…but I don’t want a negative so there is that too.

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Mittelschmerz Saves the Day

This timing insemination business is serious business.

I’ve been tracking my cycles using the fancy schmancy fertility monitor since January. Wifey thought it would be good  to help us pinpoint my wacky ovulation. It’s supposed to “learn” your individual cycles the more that you use it. To be honest, I kind of feel like the opposite is happening. The first month that I used it, I got two peak days. One month I accidentally ran out of sticks, and the last two months have never shown a peak. There might be some user error going on (I’m slightly technologically behind, I just barely got a smart phone), but really this thing is driving me nuts.

Going into our first real live insemination cycle I knew I needed a back up plan. You wouldn’t go into the playoffs without a good backup point guard would ya? I am also terrible at deciphering the darkness of OPK’s. I decided to go with the fancy schmancy smiley face OPK’s, much to Jamie’s disappointment in their price tag. I have driven myself mad starting at the nondigital OPK’s, trying to determine if the line was dark enough or if today was was darker than the yesterday. I needed the definitive yes or no. So, the plan was to use the monitor in the morning, as instructed, and then use the OPK’s in the afternoon once the monitor starting reading high.

On Tuesday, I finally got a high and set off to work with a smiley. I tested that afternoon and it was a negative. Trying to sneak that gigantic thing to the bathroom and back in my skinny jeans, while grabbing the key to the bathroom hanging right in front of my boss’s window was tricky. Then, I had it sitting on my desk when my boss (I should come up with a clever name for her) came in to introduce me to her new girlfriend. That was anxiety provoking. I didn’t wear skinny jeans the next day.

Wednesday, the sprem arrived at Jamie’s workplace.sprem They made a special exception so that we could have it shipped there. Her boss is super excited about our baby making plans. Her and Jamie spent quite a while creating some awesome timing charts.










Sometimes I feel like my body is ruled by OPKs. They tell me when I can go to the bathroom and how much I can drink. I have an extremely small bladder. I have also been drinking water like I have been lost in the desert for weeks to increase my cervical fluid. Not a good combination. I went to the bathroom  in the late morning and knew I had to wait about 3-4 hours before I could pee again to do the OPK in the afternoon. I had to pee in 45 minutes. So. Very. Bad. I sat at my desk putting my hours of kegel practice to work and thinking about anything other that how bad I had to pee. I gave up at 1 hour and 15 minutes. It was negative. I should have just waited to do the OPK later, but I only brought one to work and had meetings the rest of the day. Later, during our staff meeting I started feeling mittelschmerz. In all my previous cycles, my temperature has gone up the day after ovulation pains. After the meeting I had to pee like a racehorse. (Where does this saying come from anyway? Why would a racehorse have to pee worse than dog that lives in an apartment?) I called Jamie in a panic, explaining my mittelchmerz (it just never gets old) and my urgent need to pee and asked if she thought I should hurry and go home and do another OPK or not. She said yes. I hoped on the bike and raced home faster than a racehorse (this makes much more sense yeah?) It was a smiley 🙂

Jamie pulled up with the sprem a few minutes later and we spent the next three hours deciding on our insemination plan. We decided to go with late that night since my temps have spiked the morning after ovulation pain and positive OPK’s before. We did the insemination. It was beautiful. I was a nervous wreak.

My temp didn’t spike, but has gone up slowly since Thursday morning.  Wifey swears I’m pregnant. I’ve been nauseous, super sleepy, and having weird cramps, but I’ve also read that 3 DPO is waaaay to early to feel anything. Maybe it was too early, maybe it was perfect. We’ll find out fore sure in less than two weeks. Let the waiting begin.

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