Best laid plans eh?
Life is hard. Two parents working full-time is hard. Marriage is hard. TTC is hard. Cancer is hard. Big life decisions are hard. Sigh….There are so many things to write about, to process, to share. At work (and at home) I feel like I am constantly drowning, at least a month behind. I tell myself it won’t always be this way. And then I find myself frozen. Drowning and frozen, great visual haha. And the result is well, as you can imagine, stuck. I can’t always see the light at the end of the tunnel and I don’t know where to start, what to focus on. Life is just hard.
But Nature Boy is amazing. He is really the most awesome kid ever and of course everyone’s kid is the most awesome kid ever. We really lucked out with this one, now only if he would sleep better. Maybe next month.
Our nanny put in her notice last week. They are moving, her husband got an awesome job offer. Back to big life decisions and cancer….great for them, bad timing for us. After lots of talking, and thinking, and researching things like selective mustism and how awful of a mother it would make me to put him in a daycare, we found a Montessori school we feel mostly good about sending him to all day. It will make a huge difference in our budget and hopefully our quality of life. And hopefully it will only make me a slightly awful mother for putting my sweet, extremely shy child in this new and very social environment. His poor little world is about to be rocked. All I can do at this point is hope it doesn’t ruin him.
But the good stuff. Today is day 5 of stims. J had a blood test yesterday and I guess everything looked good. Estradiol was 260ish? We have an ultrasound and another blood test tomorrow morning. I’m really excited to see how many follicles there are. None of this seems real. We’ve written the checks and picked up the meds and it still hasn’t sunk in yet that we are doing this. That J might be pregnant in a couple of weeks. I hope it works. I want so badly for Nature Boy to have a sibling. He would be such an awesome brother. He says he wants a sister. We’ll see buddy.
And more good stuff