Tag Archives: Ovulation

When Smiley Faces Turn Bad

The strangest thing happened, the malicious fertility monitor starting giving me high readings last Wednesday on cycle day 10. The earliest I had ever gotten a high before was cycle day 15. Yes I did go back through all my charts to check. Que panic. Since the earliest I have ever ovulated is day 17, and the cryobank charges an arm and a leg to keep the tank longer than 6 days, the tank wasn’t scheduled to be delivered until day 16, this coming Wednesday.

As with previous cycles, as soon as the monitor said high I started using OPK’s in the afternoon. It was negative. I called Jamie and expressed my freaking outness to her. We agreed we would check my cervix later and then call the bank and schedule the shipment earlier if we needed to. My cervix didn’t seem ready to ovulate so we waited, tested some more and waited. We knew we had to change the shipping by Friday if we were going to, but I didn’t get a positive OPK by then so we decided to stick with the original date.

All weekend I told my body to hold on and to not ovulate until at least Wednesday. Every time I did an OPK I hoped and hoped it would be negative, I just wanted to see the sad little circle face with no facial features, and every time that’s what I got. I never thought I’d be so happy to see a negative test. It was such a different experience from last month where I was peeing on sticks constantly and hoping one would be positive before Jamie left for her business trip. Such a rollercoaster of thoughts, emotions and desires this trying to make a gayby is.

I had lots (lots for me is a little for most people) of egg-white cervical fluid yesterday, my cervix seems about ready to ovulate, but the OPK I just did was still negative. Jamie called the bank this morning and we paid the $50 to have the swim team shipped overnight so it’ll be here tomorrow. Hopefully my body isn’t playing tricks on me again and I’ll get that happy little smiley face soon.

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How Many Lesbians Does it Take?

Timing is everything, at least when it comes to baby making with frozen sprem (as we call it)

Wifey and I have been attempting to solve a word problem. You know, those ones you hated in 5th and 6th grade. You’d start reading it and by the time you got to the end you realized that you were paying more attention to what would happen to the passengers on the train, and where they were going, than the numbers you were supposed to be paying attention to. If any of you were elementary school math whizzes or have children that are here goes:

If the egg lives for about 6-10 hours after it is released, also know as ovulation. (The egg travels very very slowly down the fallopian tube. You might now even call it traveling, it’s more like meandering and being pushed along by the tiny silica.)

And the sprem can live for about 24 hours in fertile cervical fluid. And it takes the sprem an average of 10 hours to travel through the cervix, uterus and then finally meeting the egg in the fallopian tube. When they travel approximately 1/10 of an inch a minute,  after being turned into sprem jigglers for 20 minutes.  (not 100% certain that this happens with the frozen sprem, but we’ll err on the side of caution and say they do). 

And I am 86.5% sure that I ovulate between 18-24 hours after an LH surge. 

What time should we inseminate after the LH surge? 

We are thinking 12 hours.

Remember to show your work. We all know the smart kids that say they do their math in their head are just lying cheaters.*

Thanks and good luck, your future and our future gayby’s life depends on this.

*I might be harboring a little resentment over my elementary education here. I hated showing my work because it made my paper look messy and thus had to re-do my homework all the time.

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