Tag Archives: tww

Our baby is going to be a fiddler

A good friend came to visit last week and wanted to go to a concert on Wednesday night. I have a pretty intense love for music, many many kinds of music, but I’ve never been much of a folk/bluegrass/gospel fan. Guess what kind of concert it was? Crazy folk/bluegrass/gospel did I mention crazy?  We sucked it up and had a pretty good time and after the most intense fiddling  I have ever seen I am sure that our baby is going to be a fiddler. I’m not sure if fiddling is a thing, but since playing the drums is called drumming I figured it was fairly possible.

Fertility Friends says I am 6 DPO, but I’m going with 5 DPO. It was a whirlwind of a cycle, because why have a  nice normal cycle like everyone else? That’d be boring. We decided to have the bank overnight the swim team and then didn’t end up using inseminating until their originally scheduled date of arrival. Silly kids. Jamie described $50 as pennies in this process (we’re big ballers now) so we figured we could pay pennies to have peace of mind.

Then, she left half of our future baby at work and had to drive through horrendous traffic to go back and get the swim team. It’s a good thing we’ll have a while to get used to caring for someone else. We don’t want to be leaving our baby at work. yikes!

Then I ran out of OPK’s. Those fancy little pee sticks are a lot cheaper on the interweb, but I snuck away from work and paid lots of pennies for those too. I got a positive at about 1pm on Wednesday. Our friend arrived at about 3pm. He met me at my office and ate gingersnaps and pistachios with us to celebrate bosses day. Yes Anxious Yogi picked gingersnaps and pistachios for her favorite treat. I left work with him at about 4 and we headed to our place. Jamie and I had decided we should just tell our friend that we were going to be inseminating, but hadn’t really talked about what we’d say or how much detail to go into. Well, as soon as we sat down (Jamie was still at work) he asked me how getting pregnant was going. So I said “Well we aren’t pregnant yet, but we are going to try tonight” To which he replied “So how does that work?” So then of course I went to get the tank out of our bedroom and we had a nice little frozen sperm, cryobank lesson. Jamie got home during the lesson and was quite relieved that I had the pleasure of explaining our midnight shenanigans.

He was a great sport, not awkward at all. He decided that we have to get pregnant this cycle so that he can tell people “I’m not saying I’m the father, I’m just saying I was the only man in the house when the baby was conceived”.

So now we wait. I haven’t decided if I will test early or not. I have a bunch of cheap tests so I think I might as well…but I don’t want a negative so there is that too.

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Menstrual or Pregnancy Migraine?

I’m losing hope. After our insemination, two weeks ago tomorrow, I was certain that it didn’t work. I always imagined it would take at least 6-12 months to knock me up. Then, as the days went on and I felt more and more “different” and obsessively started tracking my “pregnancy symptoms” I thought maybe we did luck out and we got knocked up the first time.

I’ve tested everyday since Saturday (10 DPO) and all BFN’s. Then I did some searching and found that most women don’t get a positive that early and started to feel hopeful again. My sister said she didn’t get a positive with her last baby until AF was a week late. There is hope, it’s small but it is there.

Then, this morning I woke up with a migraine. I have had chronic migraines since my tweenhood days. It wasn’t until we started tracking my cycles in preparation for baby making did I notice that I often get them right before my period. Often, not always. I also get them all throughout my cycle so who really knows if they are ever hormone related or not. I am worried that this one is though and I’m getting bummed before my period even gets here. AF is due tomorrow or Thursday.

So, now I sit here and wonder if this migraine is a reaction to dropping levels of progesterone, or if it’s due to the stress of the TWW, or lack of sleep as I have been exhausted lately, or just a random migraine (like 90% of them).

I’m now a pee stick addict so I will probably test again tomorrow, unless of course AF arrives before then.

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A week too late

Yesterday  my boss, who will be called Anxious Yogi from now on, told me not to get pregnant.  She was 100% serious.  She followed it up by saying that she knew she legally couldn’t tell me that, but that she needed me to not be on maternity leave when the feds come for a monitoring visit in the spring….so I really shouldn’t get pregnant.

I just laughed, probably too hard. I’m pretty sure that my face turned beet red and then I awkwardly changed the subject and left her office as quickly as possible so that I wouldn’t accidentally tell her that I could already be pregnant.

Ugh.

She knows we want kids. She doesn’t know I want to be pregnant and certainly not that we are trying. She may or may not have seen an OPK in the garbage or sitting on my desk that one day.

I really like my job. I really like the people I work with (almost everyone here is queer). I really hope that by getting pregnant Anxious Yogi won’t think I am not interested sticking around for a long time. It makes me really frustrated that as a woman I even have to worry about this. I might not even need to worry. I know that Anxious Yogi is very glad that I am here and thinks I am a great asset for our organization. Having the “guess what I’m pregnant” conversation is going to be kind of scary. Too bad I won’t be able to have a couple of beers first ha ha

In other news, it’s 9 DPO. I took a test last night for fun. It was negative, which wasn’t a big surprise, but for some reason it made me feel less impatient and anxious. We’ll test again at either 11 or 12 DPO. I haven’t had very many “symptoms” backache, a bit of nausea and cramping and waking up to pee every night. I never imagined that two weeks could go by so slowly, and we’ve been doing so much to keep us busy. Maybe a two week coma would be a better option? Anyone have a patent for that?

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